I was thinking about it lately and I really DO have "the world at [my] fingertips." I have no reason to NOT go do whatever I want to do... or date whoever I want to date, for that matter. Jeez, just think what would happen if I would have met Moises Alou NOW... we could be man and wife. ;)

(I don't actually want to date Moises Alou despite his undying love for me. I will not, however, rule out the possibility of OTHER professional baseball players... or Brandon Flowers. Or Adam from U2.)

I don't really want to date someone anytime soon, though. What I really, really want soooo badly is just a really good friend. Someone else who has nothing to do most of the time and who I could go to when I'm crazy. There's not really a lot of people who are HERE and I see very often that I can actually talk to. I would like that to change this next year.

I'm having this dilemma... Jim's birthday is next Saturday (the 31st) and I DON'T want to call him because I shouldn't... but it's his birthday and I don't want to be a jerk. I know he doesn't care about his birthday... but it's not like I could FORGET about it. I don't know whether or not I should call him to wish him a good day...

When we were dating I always used to sing the Beatles' "You're Gonna Lose That Girl" to him when he was neglecting me or being a jerk. Obviously I sang that song to him a lot.

Every day I move closer to being over him. I don't think about him as much anymore... and usually when I do it's in a bad way (ie, how the person he described that he wants to date IS me... and for some reason he is too stupid to figure that out).. but if I could have one wish for MYSELF, it would be to say to him "Jim, I'm going to be over you sooner than you think" and have it actually affect him in some way.

Knowing he doesn't care about me at all is what hurts the most. He hasn't cared about me for at LEAST a year now... I've just recently been able to accept it.

"Some days will be harder than others."