Jeez, I was at work ALL DAY. Well, ok, I was at work from 12-2 and then from 6-11. It seemed longer, though.

I had good tips all day long... I didn't have enough TABLES to make a ton of money, but I have about $100 for the day, which isn't amazing or fantastic, but it'll do. I'm just lucky I was able to beg someone to let me have their night shift since that $15 i made at lunch wasn't cutting it...

Tomorrow I have to beg again to get a shift and I'm working Sunday morning for Nate. Maybe I'll try to get a Sunday night, too..

I've had a couple inquiries about the apartment already which is GREAT. I'm hoping to be able to find someone this coming week. I have my favorites already in people, so hopefully Dustin likes them and everything works out...

Ok, so here's the thing. I am absolutely ready to move the 17th IF I can make enough money. It's like... impossible to know if this will happen unless I can GET money and not JUST have to rely on work. I wish I had a credit card (not really, but for this, yes) again so I could just charge the gas and hotel rooms and stuff. UGH. I mean, what am I supposed to do if I'm like "yes, meredith, buy a plane ticket to fly out here on the 16th (to leave the 17th)" and she DOES and then... I have no money. I mean, WHAT THEN? This is so... difficult.

I feel SO BAD for my sister. Just so you know the family financial struggles are not limited to me and my parents, I'll tell you about this horrible fact. So, Jen submitted her FAFSA in January or February. She assumed everything was okay because no one told her it wasn't. Her scholarships didn't cover the full tuition this semester and she doesn't have the cash to pay, so she went to financial aid to see what awards she could get. They told her (surprise!) there was a problem with her FAFSA and made her correct the whole thing over again. This was around my birthday. THEN, she went back today (after resubmitting it a week ago) and now they're practically auditing her FAFSA. They're asking for all this proof about her financial need... NO ONE will help her in the office... I was LIVID. I tried calling their office myself because this is just ridiculous. According to MY awards status as Kent I qualify for one LOAN... but it's the parent loan which I obviously can't take out because of the bankruptcy....

WHAT IS GOING ON?????

How is it that we live in a country where if your parents are divorced and your dad has $300,000 in his CHECKING account, you can just put down your mom's income and get GRANTS, but if your parents are married, bankrupt, losing their house, working for $10,000 a year (and you're not making any more than that), you can BARELY get loans? This is CRAP. We have 3 kids of college age, no place to live, no money at ALL, nothing... and we can barely get loans. I don't understand. I hate the government people in charge of student loans. They're demons.

So, anyway, Jen is obviously upset, AND she's having all these medical problems... the horizon is just about as sunny for her as it is for me. The biggest difference is that Jen is losing any kind of optimistic look on things. She said today it's all she can do to get up in the mornings because this is just too much to deal with for a 20 year old.

Life sucks. I wish we had help.

Wooooo, and look at me! Walking right back into the mess that is Ohio! At least California is a blue state..

I broke a nail at work. I've been growing them since June (filing them, not letting them get freakishly long). I was upset.

Hey, those of you who don't have to worry about how you're going to eat next month, pay for school or rent or ANYTHING... Those of you who aren't afraid your sister has some kind of uterus disease... Those of you who could conceivably have $500 if you had an emergency... Thank God, ok? I realize having no money is probably going to be a life burden for me, and that I could have it much worse... but this still sucks. I would do anything for just a little security....