Our last two shows went pretty well. Saturday's audience included the likes of a Miss Meg Cavenaugh and Yolanda Davis (!!!!!) and Sunday's that of my (retired) high school choir director, Mrs. Barnette. I was really surprised to see her since I had NO idea she was coming. She made me sign autographs for her granddaughters. I laughed at her. It was really awesome to see Meg and Yolanda, too. After the show on Saturday we went to Bryan's, where 700 people were crammed into the smallest living room EVER, and I was about to leave because there wasn't enough oxygen for all of us. However, other people left first so I stayed a while longer, talking to Brooke and Jessie. I don't know when I am going to get to see either of them anymore... :(

I cried during the last scene yesterday. I realized I could make a choice: I could either THINK about it being the last performance and the last show for the seniors or I could try to make everyone laugh. Yolanda Board said "Don't be sad-- be happy! You did a great job! You should go out there like 'I was JACK'S MOM, BITCHES!'" And so, I did. But then, I cried anyway, because I started thinking about how, in some ways, doing this show really helped heal me. I mean, I was such a mess, but I'm ok now. It probably would have happened with ANY production, but the fact that it was my favorite show, and there wasn't even someone in the cast who we all HATED (like there always is...)--we were just all friends--really made it even better. So, i'm standing in the back, supposed to be frozen but totally reacting to everything that happens like always and Bethany sings "Things will be alright now..." and then this tear just rolled down my cheek and I looked at Griffin and cocked my head to the side and smiled, and then THAT eye let loose... and then I decided I really better start freezing.... and then Ali saw my tears and almost cried, and Griffin DID cry... and when I went up to my line to sing, I couldn't look Jon Mazur in the face because I KNEW I would cry even more and then... THEN... I snapped out of it and made everyone laugh. :) I kind of had to, though, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to sing. But really, can you blame me? It's my first show in 2 years, my favorite show, my last show with the people I abandoned and then came back to (aka, seniors) AND a show where I worked through my own personal issues and found inner peace! I was ALLOWED to cry.

Plus, I'm a girl. I really didn't even need to make any other excuses.

After the Sunday show I sprayed my hair pink because Grace said I could and then stayed for Strike for a while. Now, when I say "stayed for strike" what I mean is that I stayed, and realized I am COMPLETELY USELESS when it comes to anything dealing with scenery or lights, and would only get in the way, so Tara took me and Ali to get the pizza, chips and pop for the people who WERE useful. Not a lot of people from the cast stayed, though, and Karl was maaaaaad.

After that, I went to visit my grandma, mom and kitty, and then came back and went to bed at midnight. Tonight I have "Violet" callbacks (one show ends, another begins... I hope) and me and Ali (and anyone else who wants to join us) are meeting to read through "The Servant of Two Masters" aloud because A. If I read it aloud, I am less likely to fall asleep and more likely to pay attention to what is going on and B. It would help our cold reading skills!

But now... I am going to VEG because this is the first day in a very, very long time when I have NOTHING to do (until Violet callbacks...).