Yesterday we were soooo slow at work. I made $30, but only because my last table tipped me $17 (which I felt really bad about because I started to get really impatient waiting for them to leave). TODAY, of course, we were crazy busy for some reason. I made $50 (I would have made $60, but I transferred my last 2 tables to my zone replacement, Christine), so at least it was worth it. The time also flew by, which was nice.

I am so... sick. Thankfully it hasn't gotten to my ears yet, or I'd hate my life. That's always the worst because when it gets to your ears, you lose practically every sense. You have no balance, you can't think, hear, see, smell, taste... right now I mainly have a cold or something. Every morning when I wake up my throat is on FIRE and I can't talk, but my nose isn't stuffed up yet, so I'm kind of confused as to WHY my throat hurts so bad in the morning. I also keep losing my voice throughout the day. I really don't want this to go to my nasal passage... I'll be so sad if it does.

Well, the Week of Despair is over.... I'm going to have to somehow avoid reading Gilmore blogs (which will never happen), because I think it'll be really sad to hear all about the trip. In some ways I'm sad it's over though, because of the following reasons:
1. In Florida Jim couldn't get to any of the ladies he's pursuing
2. He probably had a bad time which makes me happy in an awful way
3. I KNOW at some point he thought about me, and how much fun *I* would have been having if he weren't so completely stupid.

Man, I am a mean girl. I am GLAD he most likely didn't have a good time. Well... I SHOULD be glad he didn't have a good time. And do you know why? Because in MY world, if you make someone miserable, that person is allowed to hope that YOU can never be happy again, too. As long as I feel the way I feel, I want him to be unhappy, too. Because, as I said, I am a mean girl.

That's not very Christian of me, is it? Sorry, I can't help it, and I'm not gonna PRETEND I don't feel that way.

I have become SO cynical. Today Esther was saying she was regressing in her maturity level because she used to believe in love and that there was a person for everyone out there, and now she doesn't anymore. I said "That's not immaturity, that's just common sense." I HATE being like this, and I am so ANGRY that Jim made me this way. I am NOT normally like this. And yeah, I guess I have a choice in my actions, but HOW could I chose to feel any other way? I think it's really ironic, too... because Jim always thought we were incompatible because our personalities were so different. Well, now I'm just as crazy and cynical as he's been since he was 10, and he won't even talk to me.

Thank you, Steve, for being one of the first people to tell me it'll take at least a year to get over. I already knew, but it was really nice to hear it from someone else.

I'm very prone to obsession. If you couldn't tell.


So, I believe I'm moving to Kent this weekend. That's exciting. I look forward to not having to try to leave rehearsal early because of my looming drive back home in bad weather. And I could actually hang out with my friends... and I'll be in the same apartment complex as Mr. Guff, haha! AND I'll finally be able to unpack my car from my move back here!!