(The post that I was too upset to c&p over to this blog when I wrote it last night: "FUCK BURNING MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Just to clarify a LITTLE....)


This is going to be the worst day ever. Stupid Jim. I woke up at 8:30 and just laid in my bed so FURIOUS at him, at burning man, at his friends... pretty much anything he was near this last week was something I was furious at.

I don't want to even go into it now... because I feel like I already have so many times and SO many more are yet to come. I just feel so.... hopeless. And Mrs Gilmore, YOU will get the pleasure of knowing all the secrets when he calls you today. Lucky. *I* don't even know yet!

There is just this feeling of terror in my stomach...and it feels like heartburn and hunger. And it chokes me up and brings tears to my eyes. And if he breaks up with me... I mean, I REALLY don't know what I am going to do.

And not because I'll be "lost without him" or something like that... but because I'll have to make so many decisions so fast. I couldn't stay here... I'd just be yearning to get out. But it's not like I have enough money to move to NYC right now. And I CAN'T move back to Ohio (except to sell my car so I could move to New York). I wish I knew what was going to happen, I wish this would have happened before RIGHT NOW (I'm sure it's going to be really impressive being so psychotic during this week of training at the MG) and I wish the kitties could stay together because they are best friends.

Jim is just so stupid. So, soooo stupid.