My friend Will got married today! Yayay!! I remember when he proposed... and how I was rooting him on. Now he's all married and such. I say, CONGRATULATIONS.

I'm obviously not there, because the wedding is in Kansas, but I did look into going... and flights to Kansas are surprisingly expensive.

Last night I made $100 before tip out. I couldn't believe it. That's only the second time I've made $100 in one shift there. I walked with $83, but still... wow. I didn't think my last table was going to tip me (they were so... strange. The guy looked like a 1976 disco king/used car salesman and the woman was wearing blue lace-like pants that you could see through) but they did, and we were all shocked, and the kids ran around me and tried to sell me packets of salt. He said "I've got a packet of salt and a packet of pepper. How much will you give me for them?" and I just looked at this kid and was like "Well... I don't need any salt or pepper, so I wouldn't give you anything for them" and walked away because those kids were ANNOYING.

Maybe I've been reading too much Harry Potter, but I felt a sudden urge to rise up against our managers and their shifty, shady ways. I guess it's a good thing I'm leaving there in 3 weeks.

So... *I* thought things with me and Jim were great. Except a couple fights (and we hadn't fought in a LOOOOOOOONG time before the other day) I was always really happy and I told everyone (when they asked) that things were great and etc etc etc. However, apparently Jim feels differently. I guess he's not excited about the relationship anymore, which was really surprising and I wouldn't have been able to tell at all. Yesterday I told him i wanted to talk to him... and what *I* wanted to tell him was that I really didn't want to lose him. Not that anything had to HAPPEN because of this, but that it was just... true. Because i don't. And then he goes and tells me this stuff he's been feeling (and telling a lot of people other than me, who was totally in the dark) and I'm just like... wha? Normally if something is really wrong, *I* would know. Like, you know, I would feel like something was wrong, too. But not now... and so I'm really surprised and really NERVOUS and I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm just filled with all these person doubts now... and I'm wondering what must be wrong with me. Jim is the one bad at relationships (his words, not exactly mine. Although it does make sense since he doesn't keep in contact with any of his old friends and not even his family that much) and I am generally GREAT at relationships... and it seems if one of us is going to have a problem, it would be me... But it's NOT, and the fact that it's not me is really making me crazy. Am I really just blind to things that are going on or is there something (or somethings) wrong with me that this keeps happening?... Ugh.

I also realized yesterday (well, I mean, it didn't take a lot of deep thought or anything. It was pretty obvious) that maybe %5 of my potential is being used right now. Before all the OTHER news came out, that was another thing I told Jim... because I don't think he would have stayed with me if he didn't think I was POSSIBLE of doing anything (since I'm not currently proving it) and to tell him that I could feel the time would arise soon when I WOULD be doing something. I don't know why I feel like that, but I do. I think I'm going through a phase right now. A children's literature phase. My own life is SO boring and SO stupid that I am living vicariously through the Harry Potter and Narnia kids.

Anyway, so... I don't know what is going on. I think that's the story of my life.