This last week was so incredibly long and this coming week will be even longer. Most of the week my day went like this: do laundry in the costume shop, work in the box office, do preshow, work in the box office, do laundry. After the matinees this weekend I would be working the gift shop, run into the theatre and start picking up trash, run backstage and move our seats and bells into place (the turnover is really fast between the end of the Carol matinee and the start of our preshow), run downstairs and throw the whites into the washing machine, go back upstairs and finish working the gift shop.
Next week there are only 3 of us left on staff... which means we are working literally the entire day. I will work from 9am-10:30pm the 26th - 28th just in the box office. There is only one hour of time where I will not be working, and that is from 4-5 when I am doing the preshow. We can't even take lunch breaks because there is no one to cover them. Why is it like this, you might ask? Because they fired or moved our employees into the positions of other fired employees right before the busiest season of the year and two people went on vacation. Now, the people who went on vacation... I mean, good for them. If I could leave, I'd go away too. But the firing and moving of employees just baffles me. Why now?? You could't wait THREE WEEKS? I mean, what if I would have said, "You're taking away my full time position??? Screw you! I'm not taking that kind of pay cut!!!!" and stormed off? They would have been left with TWO PEOPLE to run a business open from 9am-10:30pm that has 600+ people coming in and out of it a day.
Sigh.... so, as my dad said, "at least you're working." This is true. A lot of people are not working these days (my dad included). My mom slipped on some ice the other day and twisted her ankle. She has broken this ankle I think 3 times since 1999. My dad sent me a picture mail over the phone of her bruised and bloody foot. Thank you, dad.
I still can't make it feel like Christmas and I don't understand why. I am singing and playing Christmas songs every day, I hear Christmas music several times a day, I am right on the other side of the wall when Scrooge blesses everyone with the spirit of Christmas or whatever... I've watched my fair share of weird Christmas Carol adaptations. I have a tree (with butterflies on it!) and stockings hung on the fire place. It's even COLD today!!! And yet... it's December 22nd and it might as well be August 22nd. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I'm miserable. Lots of people are miserable at Christmas. I don't think it has anything to do with the lack of presents to give or receive.... that has happened several times, now. WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS?? I really do miss Christmas. I wish I could feel Christmasy.
Ugh. So, yes. I am miserable. Well, I've been under a lot of stress, you know? I already take things personally but now I am REALLY taking them personally. Chris decided to take that non-equity contract here. I'm not happy about it. I KNOW it was my idea in the first place but... I don't know... I guess I didn't think he'd make the decision SO SOON. I thought he'd actually REALLY think about it for a while instead of making the choice in about 5 minutes out of fear. He gets housing back which basically means I have to move away alone (if he takes actor housing) because they won't let me live there. There is MAYBE one other thing that could happen... they could give him an extra stipend or something to cover his half of the rent at our apartment. I would have to cover my half... but then I'd be stuck here. What if I got a job somewhere else? One of us would have to pay the other half of the rent (whether I was living here or not). I don't know what to do and it's making me crazy.
And I need to choose a song, a monologue and a dress. Soon.
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