I think Conan O'Brien might secretly write for groupon. Take a look at what the "groupon says" cat had to say about a groupon in Cleveland:
"Here are some fire safety tips to keep you out of harm's way:
1. First, make sure it's really a fire you're dealing with and not a still photo of a fire or a fraternity brother dressed as a fire.
2. Fires are allergic to knives.
3. Shouting at fires will not make them go away, but it will lower their temperatures enough to punch them.
4. Fire only burns those who believe in it."
I laughed out loud for real.
Yesterday I went to the beach! Oh man. I was so happy. We went to Jones Beach, which is known as one of the best beaches in New York (state). It's a state park, so there's not much around and no hotels nearby, so making it a weekend trip would be hard, but I loved it. I loved every minute of the hour and a half we were there. I honestly couldn't stay any longer because it was literally the first time all summer I had been out in the sun on purpose. I had sunscreen all over my body, and I mostly used spf 50, and I reapplied it like... every 20 minutes... but I was still scared. And rightly so. The sun is DANGEROUS. But, luckily, I didn't get burned and I also no longer look like a vampire which was exactly what I wanted. The trip there wasn't too bad, either despite the next sentence: N to 30th, walk to Steinway, R to Roosevelt, E to Sutphin, LIRR to Freeport, N88 to Jones Beach. It was a lot of transfers but the LIRR was so fun (and only $21 for two roundtrip tickets!!!) and I was smiling like I was on a roller coaster the entire time.
After we got home yesterday I was EXHAUSTED and starving. I ate 3 pieces of pizza, 3 cheesey garlic things and 2 cinna-pizza things (we ordered from papa johns). I then laid on the couch, half asleep, watching PBS until 9:30pm when I nearly died because I could not take the heat in the living room any more. It was unbearable. We went to bed, but really I read the end of my Harry Potter 3 book for an hour and then half an issue of Glamour magazine. Listen, though. Harry Potter is AMAZING! If you're a fan and haven't read them since the 7th book came out in 2007, it's time to reread them. I had forgotten so much. I forgot that Scabbers was Pettigrew! The 3rd book is so excellent. I mean, what an amazing, original, exciting plot. That JK Rowling. She's good. I am excited to start the 4th book tonight, which is my favorite despite the fact that it's also the first one I cried during and also the one I threw across the room (when Cedric died). I suppose throwing it across the room is no beating the floor with my fists during hysterical crying (like I did during the 7th book... perhaps a couple of times) but it's still pretty dramatic. I love Harry Potter.
I really like having these days off on Wednesdays. It's been so great. I feel like I'm trying to fit the entire summer into 4 days off. Next week we're thinking about going to a baseball game. Even though it would be the Yankees, it'd still be fun. I like to get souvenir cups.
There's a hurricane a-coming! Sort of. The hurricane was half the reason I insisted on going to the beach yesterday. Labor Day and the hurricane will bring summer to a nice end. And this time, it BETTER END. I am tired of being too hot to sit on the couch. The weather gave us a reminder of fall last week (or the week before? I can't remember) and it was great. Not that I want winter to come, because I DO NOT want that. I think I could deal with an abnormally long spring and fall every year, though.
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