There are two parts to me right now. The part that is disappointed in herself for switching her schedule so she could go to an audition this morning and yet... she didn't go, and then there's the part that worked almost 36 hours in the last 3 days on her feet and was so tired and in such foot and lower back pain that she's GLAD she got to sleep.

I hate that. I guess, in reality, if I had gone, it would have been too much trouble anyway if I would have booked it... I wouldn't be able to break even with the money I am making now (which is NOT a lot), which means I couldn't afford my rent while gone and then I'd have to find new jobs and it probably wouldn't be worth it for 2 months.... sigh. I hate the theatre. It's such a stupid, stupid career.

Ugh. Anyway, yes, I worked almost 36 hours from Saturday- Monday. It wasn't AS bad as it sounds, but it was pretty bad. I was really tired all of the time. And my back hurts a lot and the balls of my feet hurt from wearing these sandals all weekend. I knew yesterday, when I woke up at 7-something am, that it was going to be next to impossible for me to get up today. I still prepared last night, though. I was basically ready... but when my alarm went off at 5:30am all my damn mind could think about was how it wasn't worth it. I just imagined myself getting there at 7:30am, waiting in a stupid line forever, finally getting called in to sing and then they'd say "Thanks for coming in, Alyssa" and I'd leave. Yes, there's a possibility that it WOULDN'T happen like that, but most likely it would and apparently I did not want this particular job enough to deal with the regret I'd feel for getting up in the first place if it did.

The vampires have gotten to me!!!!!!!!!!!

Chris is sick. I was sick 2 weeks ago or something so I guess he didn't catch it from me.... or it sat dormant in his system for a while. He's been working all the time, too. He likes his job at the Intrepid museum a lot which is good. He's also got a part time job which he doesn't really love and Othello until the end of the month so at least we're not home together. We got off work at about the same time last night so we met up on the subway platform at 42nd st just to spend a little more time together. I wish we could do real things together, too.

I laughed the entire time I was ushering last night. It was a lot of fun. I took tickets just so I could hang out with Lyndsey and Scott during this 3 hour long piano recital and it was totally the best decision of the night. We made a vocal mariachi band, we watched Judi Dench sing "Send in the Clowns" on my blackberry, I told them about the time I spoke gibberish in Guys and Dolls, Scott did an impression of an imaginary angry patron filling out the wine comment card.... I realize none of this is funny to anyone else, but maybe when I reread my blog again in a couple of years I'll remember it and laugh.

Tonight I am going to view an apartment! I am excited. I hope I love it and we get approved and are able to move in right away on August first because I am living in a DREAM WORLD. Most likely I'll hate it. Or we won't get approved. Or we will and someone else will just get the apartment. Oh my God, I just looked on google maps and it is literally right next to the gigantic amtrak line. Unless the apartment is on the other side of the building it'd be really dark. I guess I'll find out tonight!

I don't understand how a percolator works. Does anyone know? (Someone must. A scientist.)