"To those who have read this. Please know you have all touched me deeply. I love you all. I have never felt this way about a cast. You all make me want to detox my body, not critta, write amazing songs, dance in fields with the car doors open, kill you in traps, run to quick changes faster. My heart is severed, I feel. But this is NOT goodbye. OH no. I can't let myself be that person. If it feels this good to have you. I won't let you go.JCS 2006
You all have my heart."
I love Dan! It's funny because I think about that summer so much and there are things that I had written in his comments that I didn't even remember happening. After that, I decided to start reading through MY myspace blog, which I stopped posting on in late 2008, I think. I was so good at blogging. There were times when I laughed out loud at myself. I think it was good because it was so TRUE. I didn't care that all I had to talk about was the weather and whatever was annoying me on any given day. I got as far back as August 2007. I want to start doing it again. It will be much harder to find the time, but I SHOULD, because I really enjoy doing it.
I read this article the other day where some yoga guy said he almost never tells women in their 20s-30s to meditate because "that would be like trying to stop a waterfall." It makes me think of Martha Jane and how she is constantly talking to everyone, and has been (as I re-learned in my blog last night) since she was TWO MONTHS OLD!!!!! Some of us have more to say than others. That's why me and MJ are pals for eternity.
I bought these cookies the other day at this bodega 1. because I wanted cookies 2. because it's Cadbury chocolate and 3. because the name of the cookies is "Luxury Cookies." Every time I eat one it's such a luxurious experience.
This weekend has been pretty easy on me, for once. I don't have to work more than one job a day until Saturday (the last day I did 2 was Tuesday of last week). I got sick last week but I'm mainly feeling better now. I was an hour late to work on Friday because I thought I worked from 3-7 so I kept forcing myself to go back to sleep. I actually worked from 12-5 and found out at 11:30am. I vowed that I wouldn't be late for work again for months, which is a vow I broke TODAY when I was trying to be 20 minutes early but was stuck between stations on the 7 train for 25 minutes. Literally. Sometimes I exaggerate the time... not today. I was panicking. And I was standing next to this little brat kid who kept kicking me in the leg. He was the worst kid ever and his mother kept threatening to do something about it, but never actually doing anything. She also was wearing shorts and had not shaved her legs in at least 6 months, if ever. My trips on the 7 trains usually take less than 10 minutes, today it was 35. When I got to work I was FURIOUS. I felt slightly better when one of my bosses came in right after me--- he had been on the same 7 train I was on (we live in the same neighborhood). I was like, "Thank God! This is a real abili!" Everyone believed me in the first place, though. When I called to say I'd be late I sounded so distressed that they HAD to believe me.
Yesterday was my first day off since our anniversary on the 4th (which was SOOOOO fun). Chris got a fulltime job at the Air and Space Museum and he had to work 12 hours days this weekend because of Fleet Week and Memorial Day, PLUS he's in tech for Othello, so I didn't get to see him (well, I did bring him a sandwich when someone ate his, which he ate in a cab that we rode in together to get to his rehearsal) and I had to come up with things to do on my own. I saw Griffin and Justin on their lunch breaks from work and I went to a flea market AND a street fair, which only took up an hour of my time. The city felt strange because everyone was at the beach. Ave of the Americas was so deserted. We were hella slow at the store today, too. When I got out of work there was another street fair, just one avenue over, so I walked through it a little bit. I got some corn on the cob on a stick (which I wanted to do yesterday but it was too hot) and then I went home. Later I went to the store, bought some Kosher, low fat hotdogs, cooked them on the George Foreman grill and ate them (and some baked Doritos) alone in my room. It sounds depressing. It wasn't really depressing, though.
You know what I wish sometimes? I wish the subway cars were darker. I know why they're NOT... because darkness is dangerous in the big city. But it's so bright that it makes me not want to be in them at night. It's too unnatural. I wish we were closer to the real ocean (not just the river). I mean... SORT OF. I don't want to actually live in Coney Island... but I do wish it took less than an hour to get there. I read that a beach in Southhampton was rated the best beach in the US. REALLY??? Siesta Key was 2nd (we went there on tour)... I feel like I should really check this miracle beach out, now.
I think I am going to eat another Luxurious cookie. I'll blog again soon (not just on the last day of each month).
