We all shine on...

I got my measurements done today. After that I stayed around Kent until the ensemble concert at 5:15. I talked to Griffin in the green room and then got caught back up with everyone's favorite girl, Jessica Beaudry (we did Fiddler and rocky horror 2 together). She is an awesome girl... and such pretty hair.

Anyway, the ensemble thing was good... I liked hearing the SITPWG and Bat Boy songs best. After the Bat Boy one I turned to EvB (who was sitting next to me) and said "I love Bat Boy. We should do Bat Boy next year. You can direct it!" he mumbled something in response but I didn't hear it. After the show I told Bryan how he should suggest it for the fall musical and he said it was already ON the consideration list, EvB HIMSELF had recommended it. WOOOHOOOO!!! God, I hope we do that show. That would be SO freaking awesome.

A lot of the soloist sounded really good. I was really impressed with Amber and Angeline and some freshman girl... Autumn? I think? I dunno. She sounded really good, though.

When the concert was over I went to ask TK if I could audition for SITPWG at Lakeland (the auditions interfere with rehearsal) and then we talked a little... she was like "I am so happy you're back. Alisa. Are you HAPPY with Jack's Mom?" and I was just like "Well, [TK], I'm not gonna lie to you. I was disappointed."
"Well of course you were!"
"I'm okay NOW and I'm excited... but it's not exactly the role I was auditioning for."
She went on to tell me that I can sing every role in the show, was considered for every role (hence calling me back for everything), but when it came down to it, I have a year left and she said I was the only one with the comic timing required for Jack's Mom. So... that's that. It was a pretty hilarious conversation, actually.

After that I went home and dad and I went to Jen's symphony concert, which was fine. Then we went to Wendy's and I got a baked potato.

I work the next three days which I am sure is just going to be... awesome. Saturday night John Moauro is having a formal party which I will be attending. I think I am going to wear my prom dress and bring tacos. It's a formal potluck. :)

So, today (dec. 8th) was the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death. EVERY time I've ever read anything about it, I've cried. I wasn't even BORN for the shooting, let alone the Beatles, but I think it's one of the worst tragedies of the 20th century (obviously things like the Holocaust and making the a-bomb are in there, too). It's just so sad. That guy will never, ever be forgotten.

So, you know, Lave and I haven't really hung out that much in our lives. I really don't know if, had we met in REAL LIFE, we would be really close friends. I don't even know if we have compatible personalities or would have fun together, or if she would "get" my weirdness.... what's COOL is that Lave and I have compatible MINDS.

In all honesty, I don't know if there is anyone on this earth who knows more about the REAL me than Lave does. There is a certain amount of pretending that goes into every day life when you interact with people... but it doesn't always apply online. I mean, WHY would you have to pretend to be happy when you're not while online? Lavers has known what I've been thinking since we were 12. Not what I've been doing or saying... what I've actually been thinking. And I think that's pretty cool.

There's a lot of people who know what I'm thinking nowadays, since so many people read this... but I doubt anyone will know as long as Lave has.

I met up with my sister at the mall today. She was looking for Christmas cards. I told her to buy an Orlando Bloom calendar, tear out the pictures and write on them, "Merry Christmas! Love, Jen and Orlando" She isn't going to, though. Well, I mean, she bought regular cards so I don't THINK she is going to. They took the pet store out the mall.... I now have NO REASON to ever go to the mall again, because that was the ONLY reason to go. Seeing those poor animals who were treated so badly and "manufactured" at kitten and puppy factories... :( I think they should put an animal shelter in the mall. That would be SUCH a good idea... people always bought those animals for $300+ because they were so cute... well, this way they could SAVE the animals, spend a really small amount of money and it would still be acquired through guilt. And *I* could still go look at them and say "awwwwwww" a lot.

Of course, no animal shelter could ever afford the high cost of being in the mall... and i KNOW the city wouldn't pay their rent, so it's just a pipe dream. Jerks.

There's this awesome article in the Kent Stater about how much Ohio sucks, which you can read here. It's 100% true... because Ohio sucks in EVERY WAY except for the fact that Cedar Point is here. Especially our completely incompetent and stupid Governor Taft, who is the epitome of everything wrong in this world. I've never heard of someone having an approval rating of 13%. The people here who voted for that moron and THIS moron are such... morons.

Once again, I'll probably be investigated now. I just hate that Taft guy so much. He is SO BAD.

I watched part of the first episode of Commander and Chief last name and it ALSO made me mad. I can't believe they wouldn't just make a show about a woman being ELECTED president. WHY NOT?? I definitely hope that happens in my lifetime. I bet it'll be the best 8 years of my whole life. Especially if it's ME who is elected... hahaha.

Wow, I'm all full of opinions today. Good for me.

Work tonight kind of sucked a lot. I had a bunch of tables that stayed FOREVER and didn't even tip well in the first place. I don't care if you stay a while if you overtip or at LEAST tip 20%... but when you DON'T, and I'm just making my measly $2.15 an hour... I want to beat you up. Besides all those jerks, though, it was fine.

God, it is soooooo cold. Outside, in the house, just everywhere. I hate it.

I still haven't gotten my checks from the MG and I am starting to get really mad about it. They were supposed to send one of them 3 weeks ago. Grrr.

I was kind of sad today before work. Work made me forget about a lot of stuff, but it's really hard sometimes.... a lot of the time, actually. I've been pretty ok recently, but once in a while I just get REALLY sad. I miss LA. I miss having temperatures above freezing (so does my car), I miss Dustin and Pedro and Joe V, I miss being in the racial minority and I miss Jim Gilmore. Half the time I hate him and half the time I miss him like crazy. Currently... it's the latter.

But I won't call him.

My parents won $200 in the lottery last night. Sadly, they would have won $2700 had my mom just paid 50 cents more. Damn. You know what the best part is? Their numbers are "1776"---see? Liking musicals can (literally) pay off, sometimes.

I'm off the next two days. I definitely need to go to the ksu costume shop to get my measurements done, and I SHOULD get an eye exam and get my phone fixed... we'll see what ACTUALLY ends up happening.

I watched the Amazing Race tonight. It made me mad. The Weaver family is the epitome of what I loathe in this world... THEY are the type of people who give Christianity a bad name. Chip and Kim were Christians, but THEY never acted like horrible jerks. THEY never said they were being "persecuted" for their beliefs... the Weavers are just ASSHOLES.

Ugh, I'm so cold and so tense.

Oh, good. My dad went to visit the friendly lawyer today... I guess we have until January 19th to be out. That's good news. Christmas will certainly be better and maybe now I can like... save... money.

Chris Kateff, I have a link to you on my tripod blog (they are identical blogs)... but since it took so long for you to start reading, I just don't KNOW if I'll link you both places....

I had my first real day at the OG today. It was fine. I made $35 (after tip out AND eating), which isn't too bad when you consider that I had only 6 entrees that were NOT just soup and salad (out of like 18 guests). We were very steadily busy. Yay.

Yesterday I slept in until 2 and had rehearsal starting at 6:30. I wasn't there for too long, but it was fun. This show is musically very hard. And that is coming from someone who has been obsessed with it since she was 10 years old. I decided I want to base Jack's Mom off of Kitty from That 70's Show. Yes... I thought that was a wise choice...

I am so tired and have been so tired for what seems like days. I mean, that's obviously impossible, but I am REALLY tired. I like keeping busy. It makes me less crazy...

Maybe I'll update later...

Well, today was pretty fun. I had ITW rehearsal from 1-4. Let me just say, in case you were wondering, I LOOOOOVE Jessie Rubin. I don't think I've ever had more fun with a single person in my whole life. It is just ALWAYS fun with her. I think Brooke and I could be good friends, too... she seems really awesome.

Anyway, rehearsal was good. We sang stuff. John Moauro and I discussed how we actually look nothing alike, despite our casting. More fun tomorrow evening...

After that, I faxed something, then got Chipotle, then PRACTICED MY MUSIC (I know... that is SO UNLIKE ME) and then at 7 I went to Ben and Ernie's for their little get together. There weren't a ton of people I knew there (although EvB and Terry Burgler did show up), but I had a really nice time talking to Ben and Christine Williams... and once in a while Caleb, who was trying really hard to figure out who I was. They have the coolest dining room table EVER at their apartment. Ernie is really quite funny... I never got to know him really well when I was at Kent before, so I am now officially naming the remainder of the [school] year, The Year of Alisa and Ernie. Hopefully I'll get to see Narnia with Ben, too, because that would be really fun.

I was so angry when I was driving home because it was snowing and the roads were really bad... but it should NEVER be that way. This is OHIO for God's sake! It snows, like... 340 days a year. You would THINK they could have enough snow plow/salt people to be able to cover the area within 2 hours... and yet, they don't. Not even 43 was cleared, and that's a major road. WTF, I say! Those people are so lazy...

I hope, when I call the OG tomorrow, they tell me that I did get scheduled for this coming week. That'd be nice.

Oh, I also decided (despite the sheer absurdity of the following statement) that I am going to do my reading for Theatre History over break. I'm gonna try to get the syllabus from Dr. Bank before classes end so I can start early... It's just... I'm not gonna have a lot of reading time when I'm rehearsing this show and working MWFSAT. Plus, I don't want to FAIL because I DO want to graduate, and if I don't do this, knowing me, I'll probably end up dropping the class the day of the first test like I did the last time I "took" it. I need to be a good student again. And, apparently, being a good student means "doing the assignments" and "reading more than NONE of the plays."

Wow, I just got a HORRIBLE headache for a second. It made my vision go black for a couple of seconds and part of my head is numb. That's.... weird.

I've started writing myself letters at night. Mostly inspirational letters... and I know I'm totally weird for doing it, and it's probably what keeps me awake all night, but it's been kind of helpful in sorting my "stuff" out.

For a long time, even after I decided I was moving, and even after I got back, I said I would take Jim back if he came back. I realized the other night... I wouldn't, now. I don't WANT to be with him again. This doesn't mean I am "over" things in any respect, nor do I no longer miss what we had. I just wouldn't take him back anymore. Not that I ever had the opportunity... but if it came, I don't think I would.

I've said before that he was my "Ross Gellar." The character of Ross was always my ideal boyfriend type. The biggest difference between Jim and the fictional Ross (besides that obvious one I just said), though, is that Ross... has a personality. Ross makes me laugh. Ross had emotions. Ross was himself and didn't need to change who he was for his friends, despite the fact that none of them cared about what he did for a living.

Unfortunately, since Ross isn't real, I'd never be able to find someone EXACTLY like him. I just think I could do a little bit better than previous attempts.

I've felt pretty comfortable writing on here because Jim doesn't read it anymore. I don't need to censor myself for any reason...

Jim is so "over" the relationship. He's as okay with everything as if we were never together. Unfortunately for ME, I am unable to throw away two years worth of memories, but he can. Accepting THAT, I think, is what pushed this decision on me. How long could a person hold on to THAT?

I have too much to give to hold on to a stupid dream about a complete moron who can't see things that are right in front of him. I'm SO much better than that. A lot of the time I'm angry at myself for not breaking up with him first. I held on for no other reason than love... Maybe I should have given up as easily as he did. I probably would have been able to finish college on time that way.

He wasn't a good boyfriend. He was mean all the time, he would yell for no reason, half the time I thought he was seriously insane, and he had practically NO respect for me or anything I did or said. I'm sure you're all sick of me repeating over and over all the things that are wrong with him... but you know what? So am I. And since I can't afford a therapist and am brave enough to make my blog my journal, you're gonna have to deal with it or just go away.

Whenever I get my phone fixed I'm gonna take him off my speed dial. Unless there's some kind of emergency (and I doubt there is an emergency big enough that I'd need to call someone across the country) I'm not going to call him again. I have NO REASON to anymore.

Sometimes I think the reason I'm so angry is because I really thought we'd get married someday. I couldn't picture my life without him in it. He took away my future.

The only good thing is that now I can make my OWN future. I have nothing holding me back. If I dig my own hole I have no one to blame it on but myself.

I look forward to the day when my posts are no longer.. like this. I don't like them, either. I'm working on it. Someday, I assure you (and myself), I will be better.

I think not wanting to be with him anymore is a pretty big step in the direction of "better."

...and don't forget about Lave's survey, if you haven't taken it already.

Just enter #34049 into the "Take a Survey" box... no need to register. And it's for SCHOOL... for her MASTER'S DEGREE. DOOOOOO IIIIIITTTT!!!!!

It's TODAY, people.
"AIDS is not a bad person's disease, Rose, it's not God punishing people for their sins." -The Golden Girls


Another night of not being able to sleep until 5am and I was SO TIRED! Consequently, of course, I slept until 3. THREE. Ugh. It's like I'm trapped in a time warp or something...

I want to do something today... but it's 4 o'clock. I wish there were a starbucks less than 18 miles away. :( (I can't believe I went from a place with at least one every two miles to... three. total.)

This is kind of fun

AHHHHHHH... it's already getting dark. My days are pathetic.

Seriously, you WILL laugh at this

Man, today has been... long. Ever have those days where you have so much trouble sleeping that when it's time to wake up, you REALLY wonder if you had fallen asleep at ALL? Yeah, me too. Last night. I was REALLY TIRED, too, so I don't know why I couldn't sleep. I guess I just had a lot on my mind...

Anyway, I went in for advising. I got advised. TK is letting me sub Ballet 2 for modern 2, *most likely* letting me sub my Huron credits for my second Intro to design course AND she just threw away Voice 1 altogether! I guess it would be kind of weird for me to take it with all the freshman next year, haha. I'm only taking like 11 hours or something next semester, 3 of which are the ITW practicum (which will be over at the end of Feb.) It's GOOD since I'll have theatre history and I need to work on that ALL the time, but it's also gonna be really weird taking so few classes for the next three semesters.

After that I went home and napped for... well, maybe half an hour, then I had to go to work. It was pretty fun... I was following Amanda, who was really nice. It all came back to me... the thing I'm gonna have the most trouble with is remembering the table numbers. Everything else was just standard OG.

HOWEVER----nothing else matters except for the fact that I got to see BEN today!!!! Yayayay!!! He and Ernie were hanging out in the offices while I was being advised. They're awesome. I'll be going to their party after rehearsal this weekend, and I can't wait. I also talked to Christine Williams today, because she's moving to LA after she graduates. The advisee became the adviser as I advised her on where to live in LA. :)

---------->READ READ READ<----------
So, my Lave is conducting a survey for one of her grad school papers. You can fill it out here, just enter number 34049 into the box that says "take a survey." No, you don't have to register, just enter the number. It's only 10 questions long and it's REALLY important for her, so please, everyone, fill it out. I know you have time.

I went through OG orientation for the third time today. Fun. I thought I was going to be following someone on the floor, but that didn't end up happening, so she just sent me home. I BELIEVE I'll be doing that tomorrow. I hope, somehow, they let me keep my original hire date, even though I've been away for three months. It would help in my quest for vacation pay.

After that, I went to buy two smaller work shirts and then to buy those bagels I talked about earlier.

Then I got back and saw all the hoopla that guy's comment had made on Jim's blog. As we all know, I never ASKED someone to do that, nor do I even know the person who did. However, Jim's dad seems to be accusing me of starting it somehow... I don't know what I ever did to that guy. He's continuously rude to me. Like I NEED people to fight my battles for me. If it was MY idea to post that, I would have done it myself... I'm not afraid.

Soooo.. that's pretty messy. I don't even think the post was totally sincere, anyway... I think it was mostly joking. Ugh... whatever. It's rather flattering that someone would want to.. avenge me.. but it wasn't my IDEA.

Tomorrow is advising with TK. I always liked selecting classes...

LOL.... so, someone just posted this comment on Jim's blog that was... well, it was really mean, but it was also really funny. And then I scrolled down and saw another one, from an anonymous person that was even FUNNIER. Elderberries.... hahaha. I dunno, they could have been the same person. Regardless, I laughed. A lot.

But Jim's mom wasn't a hamster. His MOM is really, really nice and I like her a lot. :)

PS - I didn't write them. Obviously (I have an alibi!!). I've already written enough emails to him saying basically the same stuff... and, as you perhaps can see, when I choose to harass him in comment form, I use my name. :)

It was sooooo hard to get out of bed this morning. I couldn't sleep last night... it was so warm yesterday that it was too hot for my 7 blankets. I went to bed at like 2:20ish... but I couldn't sleep until probably after 4:30. I was trying to get out of bed at 10am (I had this craving for bagels last night and I was going to go get some), but there was no way THAT was happening when my alarm went off. I couldn't get out until 12:15. And even then, it was only because I HAD to. I would go back to bed right now if I didn't have to be somewhere at 3.

Uh... wow. Ok, I need to go get ready for work.

I FINALLY got my new plates today. They were totally cool about the fact that they were over a year expired, too. They didn't even ASK me about it... AND I paid LESS than I did the last time I got them renewed! I was like... why should I EVER do this every year?? :)

We had Thanksgiving today. I know, it's not NORMALLY a Monday night thing. But, whatever, it was good food. After that I promptly fell asleep.

I start at the OG tomorrow... I think I'll be following someone after a little bit of "orientation" so I can re-acquaint myself with the place. I can't wait to be making money again. Sitting around for almost 2 weeks was nice, but I feel kind of useless.

And I need to buy work shoes tomorrow! I keep forgetting!

It was unseasonably warm today. It's gonna get cold overnight, but it was almost 70 today. It was pretty nice (except for the rain).

I obviously don't have much to say right now...

Well, I did it. I watched "The Notebook." Just like with 50 First Dates, it wasn't so much uncontrollable sadness and "WHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!?!??!" as it was ".....when?"

I'd forgotten what it's like. For the first time since I lost Richard, I feel like I've got something to look forward to.

Apparently THAT character felt the same way I did.

I did cry, though. I mean, jeez, the ending is.... JEEZ.

I also watched Fahrenheit 9/11 (again) last night. It made me mad (again). I don't think I noticed before how much of a spoiled brat/bully GWB is.

I'll probably be investigated now.

Tomorrow is OUR Thanksgiving, hahaha. I'm also going to get an e-check and hopefully not get arrested when I get new plates.

As I still have nothing to do, I watched "Super Size Me" today.... uh... I think my mouth was hanging open during the whole movie. I was so sickened. It really made me want to be vegan.

I also watched "Dogma", "Best in Show", "50 First Dates" and ALMOST brought up the courage to watch "The Notebook"... but it was already an hour into it. I might watch it tomorrow, though. I know--I'm crazy. I shouldn't do it. But, as I realized during 50 First Dates (even though I've seen it a ton of times, it's a GREAT movie), I'm not so much SAD anymore as I am... eager. Eager for it to happen to me (without the memory loss).

And then sometimes I get REALLY angry, too, and then I do stupid things. I get a little nervous because I don't think it's normal to be progressing this fast... I guess taking myself completely out of the situation was pretty good, though. It helped a lot.

I downloaded the whole Frou Frou album last night (on much music for $8.50... because I am not a pirate). It's really good.

I was watching a Radiohead concert today, too, until my dad made me stop. He was all "I wonder if this is what MY dad thought about the Beatles." I told him all about Radiohead, and OK Computer, and how they defined music in the 90s and he was like "I hate them." Touche, I suppose.

I am completely dependent on Aveeno Ultra Calming daily moisturizer. If I don't use it my face is SOOOOO red and dry. DAMN YOU, AVEENO.

I wish my life had a soundtrack like movies. Like if I did something really random right now, that music would be playing.

That'd be great.

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tonight... I probably don't need to say anything else.

I also watched Spanglish (well, all except the first half hour), and Mean Girls, which I haven't seen since it came out. Both = good.

I like movies. I haven't seen a lot since Jim and I NEVER went to the movies, so it's like I'm getting caught back up on the last 2 years of cinema.

I feel like I should make a phone call now...

Proof that I am one of the "founding mothers" of blogs (warning: boring). I started blogging WAY before the first day on there, too, but I didn't save the files. Unfortunately. It's really funny to read that now, because
A. It is so poorly written
B. I was SO ridiculous
C. I'll probably look back on THIS the same way

I don't know why I'm still up.

I decided it's stupid to be upset about casting. I'm sure the girls playing Sleeping Beauty/Snow White would kill right now to be jack's mom. Plus, she didn't have to cast me... I did LEAVE for a year. And maybe my current emotional distress would make me unable to do the show without crying in one of the other roles...

And it IS a good role...

I need to find a place to live in Kent. I guess D-Day is December 19th.... right before Christmas.

My parents both had to work today so jen and I went to grandma's at 5pm. It was ok... my grandma is really cool.

I keep trying to pick up my kitty like I used to do to Simon... she doesn't like it, though. He did. And HE would kiss me back.

I would learn to play the bass guitar if for no other reason than the bass part in "Rio."

Happy Thanksgiving. :)

900th (tripod) post survery spectacular

1. . initials: AEL

2. name someone with the same birthday as you: David Ogden Stiers, and uh... the Reformation

3. where was your first kiss?: Munroe Falls... hahaha

4. for or against same sex marriages?: FOR IT

5. are you homophobic?: no. obviously not.

6. are you bisexual?: what the crap? no.

7. do you believe in God?: Yes

8. how many US states have you been to?: Oklahoma was my 35th

9. how many of the US states have you lived in?: Just two... for now

10. have you ever lived outside the US?: No, but I want to immigrate to England like nobody's business.

11. name something you like physically about yourself: I'm kind of okay with everything lately

12. name something non physical you like about yourself: My personality.. because *I* think I'm HILARIOUS

13. where did you go to college?: KSU

14. what is your dream car?: Light blue convertible new beetle

15. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: Hawaii, England, and New Zealand

16. have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone?: Well DUH... and everyone knew about it

17. how many concerts have you gone to?: less than 10, but only like three real ones (2 Bela and one U2)

18. do you download music?: sort of...

19. how many illegal things have you done?: Is not renewing your plates illegal?

20. where would you want to go on a first date?: I honestly wouldn't care

21. describe your perfect date: One where it isn't awkward

23. ever been kissed under fireworks?: Yes

24. do you like president bush?: No sir

25. have you ever bungee jumped?: No, but I did those bungee-LIKE flying things at a couple amusement parks

26. have you ever white- water rafted?: Once again, only on the fake amusement park ones

27. have you ever crashed a car?: YES... and I almost died

28. has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you?: Yes. Many, many times.

29. have you met a real redneck?: Yes, because I live in Ohio again

30. are you interested in anyone right now?: Nope

31. what song are you listening to right now?: ooooh... none right now

32. what is your current favorite song?: "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel

33. what was the last movie you watched?: Love Actually

34. who was the last person you said you loved?: the kitty

35. where was the last place you went besides your house?: KSU

36. have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property?: No, although I sometimes wish I had...

37. have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?: Oh yes... and I'd do it again because I am TOUGH

38. have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?: Yes. Upwards of two thousand at a time...

39. whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: if they're nerdy enough

41. what do you usually order from starbucks?: Venti black ice tea or (peppermint) mocha frappucinos

42. what is your biggest mistake?: Hahaha... I think you all know the answer to this

43. have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?: No, but I've wanted to a couple of times. I'm sure everyone has.

44. say something totally random about you: I've been feeling like I'm going to throw up for the last two days

45. do you have an i-pod?: No

46. has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?: Some lady at an audition said I looked like Liv Tyler... but I mostly get Ally Sheedy

47. do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?: I would watch old episodes of Sesame Street EVERY DAY if I could...

48. do you have braces?: No, and I never did, either.

49. are you comfortable with your height?: Sometimes I wish I were just a little shorter, but generally, yes

51. when do you know its love?: When they don't freaking cheat on your or dump you for no reason

52. do you speak any other languages besides English?: a little french and a very little spanish. I can READ a lot of languages, but I can't really speak any of them

53. have you ever been to a tanning salon?: I went the whole month before my senior prom

54. what magazines do you read?: none

55. Are these surveys stupid?: Yes

56. do you have a hidden talent?: yes

58. have you ever ridden in a limo?: Yes because in 2nd grade I sold the most candy bars and I won a limo trip to McDonald's... hahahaha

59. has anyone you were really close with passed away?: My one Grandma but we weren't ridiculously close

60. do you watch mtv?: No

61. whats something that really annoys you?: Poor spelling/grammar, when my sister tells unnecessary details in a story but doesn't know the necessary one

62. whats something you really like?: kitties

63. do you like michael Jackson?: I did when I was two years old.

64. can you dance?: I pretend I can (I'm not fooling a lot of people)

65. have you ever surfed?: No. It takes a very specific body type/size to be able to surf... and after witnessing someone who has nowhere near that particular body type try... I decided it was stupid.

66. do you know how to pump gas?: Yes.

67. do you drive?: I hate to

68. whats the latest you have ever stayed up?: 6am, probably

69. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?: Yes, in my bad car accident and when I had salmonella poisoning and was throwing up every half hour for 11 hours

70. were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?: Yes

71. have you ever been dared to do something you didn't't want to do?: Yes, but if I didn't't want to do it, I didn't't do it... so it doesn't matter

72. did you do it?: see above, fool

71. do you actually read these when other people fill them out?: Yes, I do, actually

[X] I am a cuddler
[ ] I am a great dancer
[ ] I am a morning person.
[] I am a perfectionist.
[ ] I am Catholic.
[X] I am currently in my pajamas.
[ ] I am currently pregnant.
[X] I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
[ ] I am okay at styling other people's hair.
[ ] I am left handed.
[ ] I am married.
[ ] I am addicted to my myspace.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message
[] I am very shy around the opposite gender at first.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[X] I can be paranoid at times.
[ ] I currently regret something that I have done
[ ] When I get mad I curse frequently.
[ ] I don't hate anyone.
[ ] I enjoy country music.
[X] I enjoy jazz music
[X] I enjoy smoothies. (not fruit smoothies)
[X] I enjoy talking on the phone.
[X] I have a car
[X] I have a cell phone.
[X] I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
[X] I have a hidden talent
[X] I have a lot to learn.
[X] I have a pet.
[ ] I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
[X] I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" guy/girl (APPARENTLY!)
[X] I have at least one brother and/or sister.
[ ] I have been in a threesome
[X] I have been to another country.
[ ] I have been to Europe.
[X] I have been told that I am very smart
[X] I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
[X ] I have broken a bone.
[ ] I have Caller I.D. on my phone. (my phone is broken)
[ ] I have changed a diaper/nappy.
[X] I have changed a lot over the past year.
[ ] I have done something illegal.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have had major/minor surgery
[ ] I have killed another person.
[ ] I have had my hair cut within the last week.
[ ] I have had the cops called on me.
[ ] I Have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't
[ ] I have mood swings
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[X] I have rejected someone before.
[X ] I have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
[X] I have seen the television show The O.C.
[X] I have watched Sex and the City.
[X] I like Shakespeare. (ONLY the comedies)
[ ] I like the taste of blood.
[ ] I love to cook.
[X] I like to sing.
[ ] I like Michael Jackson.
[X] I love my friends.
[X] I love sleeping.
[ ] I love to play computer games.
[ ] I love to shop.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I own 100 CDs or more.
[ ] I own and use a library card.
[ ] I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.
[X] I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
[ ] I sleep a lot during the day.

[X] I strongly dislike math.
[ ] I think Britney Spears is ugly.
[ ] I was born in a country other than the US.
[ ] I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
[X] I will try almost anything once. (except food)
[ ] I work at a job that I enjoy
[ ] I would classify myself as ghetto.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe,Painless, free of cost, and scar-free
[ ] I can name all 7 dwarfs from Snow White
[X] I am currently wearing socks.
[X] I am tired

10 Favorites
Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Food: Chicken
Favorite Band/Singer: (if I can only choose one...) The Beatles
Favorite Song: "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel
Favorite Movie: The Little Mermaid (again, if I can only choose one)
Favorite Sport: Baseball
Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Day Of the Week: Days don't matter anymore..
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Cold Stone Cake Batter
Favorite Time of Day: Times of the day don't matter anymore...

9 Currents
Current Mood: "eh"
Current Taste: the taste of my throat
Clothes: cotton pants, tank top and my mom's huge fleece jacket
Current Desktop Picture: some kind of fall scene
Current Toenail Color: None
Current Time: 1:19am
Current Surroundings: the basement of my house
Current Annoyance(s): Jack's Mom
Current Thought: "I hope someone will move into my old apartment with Dustin..."

8 Firsts
First Best Friend: Danielle
First Kiss: Noah
First Screen Name: marcia03
First Pet: Erin the cat
First Piercing: my eyes in 4th grade
First Crush: Todd
First Music: Wilson Phillips!
First Car: Oh, God... a 1989 Oldsmobile. It was an old mobile...

7 Lasts
Last Cigarette: never
Last Drink: cherry coke
Last Car Ride: driving back from callbacks
Last Kiss: Anderson kissing me on the cheek to say goodbye
Last Movie Watched: Love Actually

6 Have You Evers
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: Yes
Have You Ever Broken the Law: once again, is not renewing your plates against the law?
Have You Ever Been Arrested: No
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: No
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes.. hahaha
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You didn't't Know: No

5 Things
5 Things You're Wearing: my glasses plus the things I already said I was wearing
5 Things You Can Hear Right Now: Mom opening a cupboard, the TV upstairs, the keyboard, the computer hum and my stomach growling
5 Things You Can't Live Without: My cell phone (even if it IS broken), food, water, air and shelter
5 Things You Do When You're Bored: IMDB and google stalking

4 Places You've Been
1. Toronto
2. Belize
3. Los Angeles
4. Orlando


3 People You Can Tell Anything To
1. Lave
2. Dix-Huit
3. Lauren Champlin


2 Choices
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: hot

1 Thing You Want to Do Before You Die: get baptized




100 things about me:

1. First grade teacher's name: Miss Foster

2. Last person you kissed: Well, I'm sure it was probably Jim over a month ago...

3. Last word you said: "Hmmmm"

4. Last song you sang: "I Love You Song" from spelling bee

5. Last person you hugged: Bethany (I had to think about that one... I hugged a lot of people yesterday)

6. Last thing you laughed at: David Letterman

7. What's in your CD player: Spelling Bee

9. What socks are you wearing: Red and white striped long socks..

10. What's under your bed: Oh, wow... I have no idea...

11. Current status: Single, jerk

12. Current taste (mouth): None

13. Current hair style: business in the front, party in the back

14. Current clothes: I can't go over this again

15. Current Job: none, but I'll be a server again soon

16. Current longing: To go back in time

17. Current desktop picture: The fall scene

18. Current worry: about the apartment in california, but ALSO about the check engine light in my car

19. Current hate: french animation

20. Story behind your username: My sister said my dad's moccasin slippers were "a slice o' style"

21. Current favorite article of clothing: long tank tops

22. Favorite physical feature(s): my eyes

23. Last CD that you bought: Spelling Bee, once again...

24. Favorite place to be: New York

25. Least favorite place: Ohio

26. Time you wake up in the morning: lately it's been no earlier than noon

27. If you could play a new instrument, what would it be? the violin

29. Current favorite word/saying: "It was a stupid idea to make my 900th post a bunch of surveys"

30. Favorite book: all of Narnia and Harry Potter 4

31. Favorite Movies: The Little Mermaid, Ghostbuster, LOTR trilogy and Contact

32. Favorite Songs: "In Your Eyes", "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic", "Bad" (by U2) and... I think I'll say "Blackbird"

34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: There are so many

35. Favorite day: Like I said, days don't matter anymore

36. Where do you want to go: I really wish I could go to NYC for the weekend

37. What is your career going to be: Well, I HOPE I will not be a professional waitress

39. What kind of car will you have: None... cars are expensive

40. A random quote: Puddleglum: "Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."


41. Eye Color: Green

42. Hair Color: brown

43. Righty or Lefty: Right

45. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio (for some reason this always scares people)

46.Innie or Outtie: Innie

DESCRIBE...

47. Your heritage: Irish, Russian, English, Scottish, Welsh, French, Yugoslavian annnnnnd Polish

48. The shoes you wore today: none

49. Your hair: I didn't even shower today

50. Your weakness: kitties

51. Your fears: that I won't even have enough money in my account if I DO have to pay rent in California for next month

52. Your most recent secret? Yeah... there aren't any

54. Your thoughts first waking up: "I should have slept EVEN LONGER"

55. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: well... feature, eh? bone structure

56. Your bedtime: always late

57. Your most missed companion: :(

58. Your perfect pizza: Cheese and cheese alone

59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: sweet and chewy, freak

60. Single or group dates: single... i have a problem where I need to be the center of attention a lot of the time

61. Dogs or Cats: cats

62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton

63. Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

64. Cappuccino or coffee?: Well... cappuccino if it's actually a latte with a lot of sugar and some kind of flavoring

DO YOU...

65. Smoke: hell no.

66. Curse: see above

67. Sing: Yes

68. Take a shower everyday: Not today, but if I am leaving the house, yes

69. Have a crush: Nope

71. Think you've been in love: Yes

72. Want to go to college: yeah... I guess i'm excited to go back

73. Want more than what you got: always

74. Want to get married: Yes, someday

75. Type with your fingers in the right place? absolutely not, but i'm still really fast at it

76. Think you're attractive: lately i've been thinking I've finally grown into my features... but maybe I'm wrong

77. Think you're a health freak: I won't eat certain things (like fried oreos), but really, I don't care.

78. Get along with your parents: most of the time

79. Play an instrument: my vocal chords

IN THE PAST 3 months:

80. Had an alcoholic beverage: no

82. Done a drug: sleeping pills

83. Made Out: Actually, no...

84. Go on a date: Yes, a long long time ago

85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: yes

86. Eaten sushi: I hate fish

87. Been dumped: Really, survey? Did we REALLY have to go there?

88. Made homemade cookies: No

89. Been in love: Yes. Jerk.

90. Gone skinny dipping: No

91. Dyed your hair: No

92. Stolen anything: no

HAVE YOU EVER..

93. Had too much to drink: No

94. Been caught cheating: No

95. Been called a tease: No, because I'm not one

96. Gotten beaten up: No... but I would beat YOU up

97. Changed who you were to fit in: Clearly I haven't

98. Cried at something beautiful: Yes

99. Spent too much money on something you didn't’t need?: Not in the last 2 years...

100. Cried when someone died?: I cry when TV characters die (like that girl on Grey's Anatomy)




THE END.

Well, thanks to the funnest conversation with Chris Kateff EVER, a comment from Christy, and my dad (who is probably even more disappointed than *I* am about this casting) telling me that he likes how I always try to see things in a positive light, I feel... a little.. better. But really, guys. We all know I didn't decide to drive across the country 15 days from decision date for THIS. I wanted to do a role that hit WAY too close to home for me to be able to handle it... not just jokes and running around. I do that all the time. I wanted to bear my SOUL!

I slept until 1:15. It was good. Of course, I didn't fall asleep until after 3... but still. So, in my dramatic approach to last evening, I forgot to mention who DID get cast... and not that any of you probably really know these people, I'm still going to do it.

My friend Jessie got Cinderella (yayay!! I was very happy for her. she was afraid since she has dreadlocks that TK was going to think of her as too earthy and give her "tree mother" as she kept calling her), Bethany is the Baker's Wife (I always thought that if I couldn't get cast in this role, the only person I would be happy with playing it was Bethany.. and I AM extremely proud of her), Bryan is playing the Baker, I already said how John is Jack.... ummm... ok, I can't really remember anyone else right now. Oh... a girl I just met is playing the Witch (and she WAS really good so I can't even complain about THAT). Really, I can't COMPLAIN about any of it. The girls who got the better roles were really good... so.... I suppose it's my destiny.

I had a dream about Jim's whole family... but Charlie and Danny looked just like the Weasley twins from Harry Potter... which is kind of weird. I was saying goodbye to them in my dream... but I don't WANT to say goodbye to THEM!

I don't want to do anything today. And tomorrow is Thanksgiving, sort of. Well, it REALLY IS Thanksgiving, but I don't know what Jen and I are doing. Probably going to Grandma's which I'm sure will be really awkward for a variety of reasons, one being the fact that one of my uncles is a republican.