I woke up feeling pretty crappy this morning. I started sneezing a LOT yesterday (more than I have since I came back from LA) and my throat was on fire. I drank a lot of tea and some of that Airborne stuff (which is disgusting, by the way) and I feel a little better... but I also feel like a mess because
A. We were at rehearsal for 6 hours
B. We had to sing through the equivalent of the entire show like a million times
C. We (re)staged the lashes/crucifixion and then ran all of act 2 and I may or may not need to tell you how emotionally difficult it is.
I don't think I've ever acted more in a crowd scene in my life. I am acting my ass off. I had to take a time out after we staged and ran the 39 lashes scene because I was just a mess. I HATE IT. I hate that scene because I DON'T have that desire to see people or things tortured that TK was talking about (running of the bulls/violent video games/whatever). I just feel.... evil.... and sad. And we're just so angry and we're "beating" this guy and screaming and it's all so twisted and messed up and most people either start or are about to cry in that scene because it is SO intense. So, that was hard.... but I like Act 2 a lot. Way better than act 1. Mainly because act 2 doesn't have any lepers. My favorite scenes right now are the trial before Pilate (because Allison and I are the only girls in it) and "Superstar" where I can "forgive" myself for the horror that's just happened in the lashes scene. I know this is a play, guys.... but I for some reason feel like doing the situation justice.
Anyway, so the massive amount of work we did during rehearsal did NOT help me feel any better (go figure) and now I am just.... conflicted. I know staying home to rest would be the SMART thing to do when I'm not feeling great and I definitely would during any other day off.... but its tomorrow. It's the 17th of July. And if all my friends are at Geauga Lake and I am home alone (although I already know that scenario won't happen as Ali is amazing and said she could never leave me alone on a day like that) because I am sick and have to think about it ALL DAY..... I just... obviously... will not be happy. I think I'd rather take my mind off it. And I know it's STUPID and I shouldn't even feel this way at all and it's probably really pathetic and disgusting... but I can't help it. I can't help the way I feel about this... and I think I have the right to be dreading tomorrow and even the right to be sad about it. I do not, however, think a lot of people that I know understand the extent of how hard this is for me and how part of me secretly DOES want to stay home and just cry. It's just that I only have so many days off and Jessie, Griffin and Dan will be going away in a couple of weeks and we will never get this time together back so I want to enjoy it as much as possible and I would definitely not enjoy staying at home to cry. But I also want to get better and more importantly at the moment, not get WORSE but I really don't see how I can have it both ways right now. I mean, MAYBE I'll wake up tomorrow and feel amazing and be able to go and have fun and not think about anything and not get more sick.... but what are the chances of THAT happening? Especially because everything has already been SO hard with this whole situation... it seems like destiny will make it hard. Like there's no other choice.
Anyway, don't follow this link unless you want to see the epitome of being pathetic.....
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I wish it were possible for people to comment on here. I hate that fact that the flash comments haven't worked for weeks and that they haven't tried AT ALL to fix it.
I'm at the rec as usual... when we first got here Allison started filling her bottle of water up and this weird, old guy was like "That's the spittoon! You're probably going to die, now!" I am cherishing my final moments with her before she passes away from the water that flowed INTO the "spittoon."
We got to come in an hour late to rehearsal today.... although some of us could have come in 2 hours late and it wouldn't have mattered since we sat there for an hour not doing anything. I can't argue with not doing anything, but when you could be in bed instead... it's better. We worked a lot with moving the stairs and getting acquainted with the set.
Now, to elaborate on "Our Town." Like I said, I KNEW what was going to happen so it's not like it was a surprise or anything... but the direction was just UNBELIEVABLE. The part when Emily went back to her 12th birthday completely blew my freaking mind. I never could have imagined it like that. Oh God, and George running through the gravestones and falling at Emily's feet completely killed me because of the WAY that he did it. Every single person in the cast was amazing... it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime for those people. I'm jealous. And the "town" choir sounded so good that I was afraid when we started singing at their after party that we were going to look like complete idiots. I'm pretty sure we did, but it wasn't completely terrible. I've been thinking about this production all day... I just can't wait to see it again. I have also never cried that hard during a play ever, I think. I was on the verge of just breaking down completely and sobbing. I had to literally run out of the theatre to blow my nose because my whole face was just... covered in snot. I know that's gross, but that's how good this show was. I even cried while talking to Emily, Ryan and the director, Matt, because I was reliving it. It was just so outstanding.
Tomorrow is my last day as the surrogate Mary. I should be happy since I won't have the opportunity to become even more attached to the role... but, you know... I'm not. It just sucks.
I'm at the rec as usual... when we first got here Allison started filling her bottle of water up and this weird, old guy was like "That's the spittoon! You're probably going to die, now!" I am cherishing my final moments with her before she passes away from the water that flowed INTO the "spittoon."
We got to come in an hour late to rehearsal today.... although some of us could have come in 2 hours late and it wouldn't have mattered since we sat there for an hour not doing anything. I can't argue with not doing anything, but when you could be in bed instead... it's better. We worked a lot with moving the stairs and getting acquainted with the set.
Now, to elaborate on "Our Town." Like I said, I KNEW what was going to happen so it's not like it was a surprise or anything... but the direction was just UNBELIEVABLE. The part when Emily went back to her 12th birthday completely blew my freaking mind. I never could have imagined it like that. Oh God, and George running through the gravestones and falling at Emily's feet completely killed me because of the WAY that he did it. Every single person in the cast was amazing... it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime for those people. I'm jealous. And the "town" choir sounded so good that I was afraid when we started singing at their after party that we were going to look like complete idiots. I'm pretty sure we did, but it wasn't completely terrible. I've been thinking about this production all day... I just can't wait to see it again. I have also never cried that hard during a play ever, I think. I was on the verge of just breaking down completely and sobbing. I had to literally run out of the theatre to blow my nose because my whole face was just... covered in snot. I know that's gross, but that's how good this show was. I even cried while talking to Emily, Ryan and the director, Matt, because I was reliving it. It was just so outstanding.
Tomorrow is my last day as the surrogate Mary. I should be happy since I won't have the opportunity to become even more attached to the role... but, you know... I'm not. It just sucks.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Yesterday was so much fun. I adore all of my roommates (and Dan and Griffin) so much. After a trip to Gabe's and Ali's hometown of Wadsworth, we went to the Waffle House (because it's pretty much the cheapest restaurant anyone can go to) and had such a nice time. We don't even have to do anything spectacular; I just love them all so much.
Jessie had to go see "Our Town" for the box office last night and she said it was incredible. I can't wait to see it tomorrow night. We're performing at their opening night reception, which most of us feel really bad about because we feel like we're taking away from THEIR party. It's also going to be... difficult tomorrow. Rehearsal ends at 2 and since none of us want to be sweaty and disgusting since we're performing we need to shower AND eat AND drive to P-house in an hour and a half (and driving there will take half an hour). It also wouldn't make any sense to go home between the cabaret rehearsal there and the show because the drive is too long and gas is so expensive and we make... you know... not a ton of money and haven't gotten paid yet. Jessie got the time pushed back half an hour because before we only had ONE HOUR to do all three things which is, frankly, impossible. I hope it works out... some people made fun of us behind our backs when we expressed this concern to them.
Meg was at rehearsal to watch today. In the "surrogate mother" analogy, it was like she was receiving a picture of the baby via sonogram for the first time. It's not like I didn't know this was coming--I obviously always knew I was the understudy--but the more I have to rehearse it, the more I get attached to it and the harder it's going to be sitting in the back instead. I love Meg and I KNOW she is going to be brilliant, but it's so sad for me. (Because I am a girl and I have a lot of emotions.)
Everyone I know in Kent was or IS at the rec right now. It's so much more entertaining this way. "Next" is on MTV every time we are here and that show is so stupid but so funny.
PS - the Leper scene in JCS is so scary!
Jessie had to go see "Our Town" for the box office last night and she said it was incredible. I can't wait to see it tomorrow night. We're performing at their opening night reception, which most of us feel really bad about because we feel like we're taking away from THEIR party. It's also going to be... difficult tomorrow. Rehearsal ends at 2 and since none of us want to be sweaty and disgusting since we're performing we need to shower AND eat AND drive to P-house in an hour and a half (and driving there will take half an hour). It also wouldn't make any sense to go home between the cabaret rehearsal there and the show because the drive is too long and gas is so expensive and we make... you know... not a ton of money and haven't gotten paid yet. Jessie got the time pushed back half an hour because before we only had ONE HOUR to do all three things which is, frankly, impossible. I hope it works out... some people made fun of us behind our backs when we expressed this concern to them.
Meg was at rehearsal to watch today. In the "surrogate mother" analogy, it was like she was receiving a picture of the baby via sonogram for the first time. It's not like I didn't know this was coming--I obviously always knew I was the understudy--but the more I have to rehearse it, the more I get attached to it and the harder it's going to be sitting in the back instead. I love Meg and I KNOW she is going to be brilliant, but it's so sad for me. (Because I am a girl and I have a lot of emotions.)
Everyone I know in Kent was or IS at the rec right now. It's so much more entertaining this way. "Next" is on MTV every time we are here and that show is so stupid but so funny.
PS - the Leper scene in JCS is so scary!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
God, I don't even know where to begin. So much happens in my life anymore. Well, I suppose Happy Independence Day, everyone! This is my least favorite day of the entire year to have to go to work, but it's not AS bad when it's rehearsal. Although... it's still bad. Especially when they don't have the AC on in the building because they assumed no one would be there (since it's a holiday) and you're dancing like crazy. And then you get home to eat lunch and the power in the building is off. I'm pretty sure it's going to rain more tonight and even if it doesn't it rained so much in the afternoon that any fireworks are pretty much ruined. Oh well, like I've said before, fireworks never really thrill me since they don't write "Annie" in the sky...
Meg doesn't start until next week to play Mary and I've been having a lot of fun as her understudy. It sucks. You know why it sucks? Because I will NEVER get to go on. I'm doing all her blocking and I will know the role completely for nothing. This must be what being a surrogate mother is like.
Yesterday we went to Huron to go to the beach but it started to rain. We still went in the lake and most of us still had fun but it was also kind of disappointing. When it started to rain pretty hard we went back to the cars and I listened to a voice mail from my dad who suggested we go swim in the indoor pool at his hotel. Everyone loved this idea and then we had SO MUCH FUN in the pool and hot tub. After that we had dinner and one group of people left while me, Ali and the boys stopped at my parents' house and then went to see "1776" at the HP (I'm sorry Cleric---it was a last minute trip and it made more sense than to go BACK to Huron another day this week). I'm really glad we went. The pace was a little... very.... slow but most of the performances were great. Actually, there was only one I didn't really like... but I'll be nice and not say who he was. Although, if I talked to you after the show I'm sure I told you who it was. We also went to the thrift store where they were having this amazing sale where any item of clothing with red, white or blue was only 99 cents and if you knew the year that America was founded you got ANOTHER 25% off. So, I got three really cute things for only $2.36. I was so excited.
People had a couple of parties this weekend, so that was fun. We're also working out pretty much every day (except today since the rec is closed), and that's good. I had this amazing idea about these plastic horse figurines which I need to take into effect... but it won't make a ton of sense if I talk about it just yet.
I LOVE rehearsing the cabaret. Dan and I do this ridiculous lift for absolutely no reason at the end of "Magic to Do" (which is our opening number). I also dance like a moron which everyone loves. Of course. Speaking of lifts, Dan and I played the "dirty dancing" lake lift game yesterday.... I've always wanted to do that but I never had a friend who was willing or able to lift me. And now I do. And I love it. Thank you, Dan, for making my dreams come true.
Meg doesn't start until next week to play Mary and I've been having a lot of fun as her understudy. It sucks. You know why it sucks? Because I will NEVER get to go on. I'm doing all her blocking and I will know the role completely for nothing. This must be what being a surrogate mother is like.
Yesterday we went to Huron to go to the beach but it started to rain. We still went in the lake and most of us still had fun but it was also kind of disappointing. When it started to rain pretty hard we went back to the cars and I listened to a voice mail from my dad who suggested we go swim in the indoor pool at his hotel. Everyone loved this idea and then we had SO MUCH FUN in the pool and hot tub. After that we had dinner and one group of people left while me, Ali and the boys stopped at my parents' house and then went to see "1776" at the HP (I'm sorry Cleric---it was a last minute trip and it made more sense than to go BACK to Huron another day this week). I'm really glad we went. The pace was a little... very.... slow but most of the performances were great. Actually, there was only one I didn't really like... but I'll be nice and not say who he was. Although, if I talked to you after the show I'm sure I told you who it was. We also went to the thrift store where they were having this amazing sale where any item of clothing with red, white or blue was only 99 cents and if you knew the year that America was founded you got ANOTHER 25% off. So, I got three really cute things for only $2.36. I was so excited.
People had a couple of parties this weekend, so that was fun. We're also working out pretty much every day (except today since the rec is closed), and that's good. I had this amazing idea about these plastic horse figurines which I need to take into effect... but it won't make a ton of sense if I talk about it just yet.
I LOVE rehearsing the cabaret. Dan and I do this ridiculous lift for absolutely no reason at the end of "Magic to Do" (which is our opening number). I also dance like a moron which everyone loves. Of course. Speaking of lifts, Dan and I played the "dirty dancing" lake lift game yesterday.... I've always wanted to do that but I never had a friend who was willing or able to lift me. And now I do. And I love it. Thank you, Dan, for making my dreams come true.
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